No Voice – Poetry

i have to make a choice
but i feel i no longer
even have a voice
to spill the feelings
i have deep inside
it is even hard
to cry
like i lost
the will to spill
any type of emotion
i toss and turn
in my bed all night
wishing i didn’t
have this stress
surrounding in my head
i can’t rest
these endless thoughts
are tearing apart
my weak mind
i ask myself why
i even need to choose
i need to stop
being pulled
back and forth
i don’t know
how much more i
can take
just wishing
everything around me
just turned blank.

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Poem – End My Life

What do I do in a time like this
All I wish is for it to end
Hard to pretend
I am going insane
Within my head
Feeling drained
I would rather be dead
Than to continue
This endless pain
Feeling used
What do I do
In a time like this
Waiting for the night
I decide to end my life
So I can stop
All the thoughts
I am forever drowning in

Poem – Death at Twenty-Three

she’s feeling faint
becoming pale
her mind diminishing
her skin frail

losing her hair
as she’s lying there
without a care
all she does is stare

it was tough
to watch her fade
on her last days
she decayed drastically

it was hard
to leave her side
once they announced
her final breath

i couldn’t believe
just at the age of twenty-three
my friend could be
taken away from me
so easily

Poetry – This Kind of Love

thoughts of you
are screaming
inside my head
wishing i could atleast
have you
for one night
i just want
to know once
what it be like
to hold you tight
but we live
in two different worlds
it is better
just for us
to move along
this is the
kind of love
where you need
to stay strong
because we
both know
it is wrong
temptation
runs through our
blood streams
always going
through the
same rotation
only in dreams
i have you
in my arms
this is the
worst kind of pain
our love
could cause
endless harm
trying to stay sane
because your
constantly
on my mind
i know i am
in yours
but this
will never happen
so i try
to say goodbye
as tears
run down my eyes.

Poetry Video – Painkillers

Poem – She’s Numb

she’s numb
without him
remembering when
she used
to be only his
her heart
continues to ache
as she sees
him with another
her world
started to crumble
into millions of pieces
right in front of him
but he pretended
he never knew her
as he walked by
making her
her eyes fill
with endless cries
wishing she
didn’t feel so lonely
in her room at night
wondering why
she was told only lies.

Poem – Fear of Falling

I could get lost in your eyes

if you let me

but i fear

i might

get out of control

and want more of you

i know i am not ready

although

you drive me crazy

i wish

i could give you

my heart

but i have been

torn apart

and now

i am afraid to

get broken again

i don’t know

if i could

handle

that kind of torture

once more.

Poetry – Final Prayer

Her eyes filled with endless tears

As she laid on the cold bare floor

Wondering why God gave her this life

Wishing she didn’t  exist

Hearing the door open again

Waiting for her next beating

She has to stay mute

Although in her mind she’s screaming

Waiting for her last night

She knows she can’t continue this fight

Her skin feels so fragile

As she puts on her pajamas

She prays to God one last time

Begging him for this to end

She curls up on the cold surface

Closes her sodden eyes

God realizes he made a mistake

And granted her final prayer

She flew with the angels

A minute past midnight

When she met God

He tells her he is sorry

He has no control over

All the evil in the World

Poem – Left Her Cold with Ambient Music

 

he left her

so cold

she couldn’t feel

her skin anymore

when it came to pain

she tried so hard

to believe she was

still alive

but it was getting harder

for her to breathe

without his

warm embrace

Long Haiku – Difficult To Love

She remembers when
She first laid her eyes on his
That was the moment-
She let herself fall
Hoping he was worth her time
Minutes are precious-
She thought to herself
A broken heart can be healed
If she gave a chance-
At a new romance
Passion can cure anything
If you let it in-
It was hard for her
To accept he wanted her
For eternity-
She was the type to
Make them want to run away
She needed to hide-
All of her feelings
They always broke up with her
She was hard to love-
She liked it that way
She enjoyed the pain they gave
As they walked away-
Never knowing why
She had to be difficult
When it came to love-